Switching seasons

The colors around us change.

So do we. The process of becoming who we are is filled with challenge, so is our daily life.

"We come into this world hardwired for struggle" Brene Brown, Sociological reseacher.

Yet somehow we become the people that we once looked up to. We are Engineers, Writers, Teachers, Nurses, Doctors, Coaches, and helpful strangers.

It isn't what we thought. Sometimes it drives us crazy. Being an adult seemed so much simpler when we weren't one, and of course all we will ever be doing is becoming an adult. Who ever really makes it to the destination? Now that we are in pursuit, the destination doesn't seem to be much closer now than it was a few years ago, unless of course you look at our resumes.

Somehow we keep looking forward, our eyes always on the next task. Take a moment...

Today is a day to think of how you have changed, just as the world is around us. We have come far, and maybe it is hard for us to notice but look back far enough and your world will turn on it's head. Remember when you couldn't cook for yourself? Remember when you thought eight dollars an hour was great? Remember when you couldn't fix a flat or keep track of your wallet much less an entire life(but I still can't find my cell phone)? Be impressed with yourself, you should be.

I have a ten year reunion coming up and it reminds me how much we have changed. I sit around a table and all of my friends are married (I am not really surprised I am not), we all have somewhat serious sounding jobs, and everyone is more at peace with themselves and the struggle of life than they ever have been.

We have changed for the better. And we have changed together.

I work at Sugar Bowl Academy

I am on team Kokatat

The questions we ask

There is a moment, at the end, where we evaluate what we accomplished. It could be our dying breath, it could be when our name is called on graduation, but there are definitive moments in our life where we can’t help but think back and wonder: Did I do the best I could?

We can struggle with many things in this life: drugs, money, family, community, art, spirituality, mind, media. Do we choose correctly? When we lie on our death bed, will we think and wish “I should have watched Cinderella one more time” or “if I had only smoked weed one more time I would be happy” or maybe “I should have taken that job as a corporate exec to I could own a second house right now”. 

No. We will not think of those things. I heard a professor at UC Berkeley discuss this topic once, there have been studies on what people think about the days before they pass. 

The questions that they ponder are: Did I help others? Was I a productive member of my community? Did I tell the people that I cared for that I loved them.

At each end, each transition, we have thoughts like these. The above questions need answering when we end this life, but each phase has questions. I have already finished many things in my life, and with each, questions arise.

The reality is that we have to answer these quandaries of the future in the present moment. We must understand our future regrets and overcome them now, we have to fight for what we will believe was important. Push yourself, both physically and psychologically to improve. Care for others, push your boundaries, contribute to your community, meditate in the company of a kayak, paddle, and friends. Find ways to break through your barriers.

I think of the end of things often. One day I will no longer be a kayaker, one day I will no longer be a teacher, one day I will no longer be alive. I think to the moment before those things end and imagine how I will perceive the time that I am spending now. Am I doing it right?

I work at New River Academy