Mixed Feelings

These may be fleeting feelings, but so they all are. 

Both ends of the spectrum can look bleak, sometimes you feel trapped. Being single and being with a partner can feel myopic and dark.

When you are single you must balance hope with reserve, caution with openness, dreaming with realism, the short term and the long term. No matter what we hope, we have to live with what we have, and we have to create and capture the situations presented to us. Being single is the ultimate practice of non-attachment to outcomes. You have to put yourself out there and being willing to be rejected over and over again. But being alone can be easy, too easy really. There is no one there to question your ridiculous thought process, your self serving ego. You never get any BS dished to you. But there also the endless, unstoppable searching...

With a partner you have the opportunity to grow, whether you want it or not. You will always be challenged, you have to think about what you say, what you do, how you think and how you frame your goals and life. It is a constant dance of words, thoughts, time, love, and vulnerability. We can only ask so much, but we can't ask too little either. We constantly have to be falling back in love, pushing it forward. Everything in our lives functions like this, it is either growing or dying.

Take a moment to recognize your fortune. If you are single, the possibilities are your choosing, if you are enraptured in partnership, give thanks you have someone to challenge you, something to focus your energy on that has long term gains.

Either way it is a dance with fire.